Close my eyes, make it go away.

Have you ever felt like you just want to go run a bath and then drown in it.

God, I have been having the most god awful week! No wait, the worst couple of weeks. Maybe months... I can't quite pinpoint when it all started. I don't think I can think of any words to sum up what it has been like. I hate everything, I hate work right now, I hate dealing with people, I hate my co-workers. I just want to jump into the ocean, let the freezing waters take me away.
I will never continue to work in the copy centre. I hate dealing with the general public and I can't wait to have a job where I don't need to deal with them. I can't wait to leave Powell River. I don't think I ever want to return and live here. I will find somewhere else to raise my little children, if I am even able to have them. Who knows!

I just wish there was someone here who would give me a fucking hug. I haven't had a hug since.... well fuck, since you left.
Do I seriously have to ask for a hug when I'm sad? Can't people tell when someones sad? I mean, I can tell when someone is sad...
(And no, giving someone else a hug doesn't count.)

My mom is... well a Lunatic. Its like you have to be happy around her 24/7 or else she'll blow up at you. Can't I have a bad day and be upset about it? Can't I come home and mope in my room for a bit? Can't I be upset and not want to eat? She can be angry and upset all she wants, but when someone else is... Well that just wont do will it. You better be happy or else I'll get mad with you.

I have a bad day, and she tells me I can't let things like that get to me.. Well what the bloody fuck am I suppose to do? Be devoid of all emotion and just let it roll of me? Hmmmm? She is such an unfeeling cold woman... Who can't hug me when i'm sad.

Okay, i feel I have ranted enough. -sigh- I just want everything to go away right now. I want to leave. Maybe i'll just run away on my next paycheck. I'd run away and live in your house, but it scares the shit out of me... so that doesn't work... lol.